


a banana a day keeps the doctor away

by rocoroloco (wafumayo)



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:00:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,585
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24030940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wafumayo/pseuds/rocoroloco
Summary: Akira really wants Akechi to eat his homemade dessert. It'll just take a little bit of trickery for him to succeed.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 6
Kudos: 104





	a banana a day keeps the doctor away

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the main gist of this during my downtime at work, then I edited it days later during class. I haven't posted fanfic online in years and years, so I might be a little rusty! Of course, if you were to look at the fics that I've actually published on FF.net, you'd argue that I've always been rusty. This fic takes place in June - August.
> 
> Edit 07/24: Formatting

It was a cliché for a reason, in Akira's opinion, when you read manga and watch anime featuring a love interest and a banana. It's always a girl who does it - wildly innocent despite her age, and adorably oblivious to the main character's feelings. She would peel a banana and put it into her mouth, her eyes closed in ecstasy, looking for all the world like she was enjoying some other activity involving a stick and a mouth. The main character would gulp, blushing, as his thoughts travelled down into the gutter. The viewer would titter in delight at the girl's clueless teasing, at the boy's dirty thoughts, and in the best case scenario, their relationship would move forward. 

The best case scenario. 

Unfortunately, no matter how suave and stylish he is as Joker, leader of the Phantom Thieves, Akira outside of the Metaverse is just your ordinary spacey teenager. Constantly riddled with hormones, and inappropriate boners, and thoughts you definitely shouldn’t be having about the cute detective trying to bring you to justice. 

Haru, a fellow connoisseur of shoujo manga, had graciously allowed Akira to borrow a back issue of _Weekly DokiDoki!_ , where a one-shot by a new artist had been featured. In it, the main couple had gone to a local festival, where the boyfriend treated his girlfriend to a candy apple. Watching the girl lick and attempt to fit the oversized fruit into her small mouth had made the boyfriend blush, and the rest of the one-shot followed the boyfriend desperately trying to rein in his wildly inappropriate sexual urges for the girl of his dreams. The last panel had revealed the girl smirking at the boy when he turned away, revealing that she wasn't exactly as innocent as everyone thought.

For a shoujo manga, it had been surprisingly racy, in Akira’s opinion, who’s more used to emotional and mental connections in his comics than any mentions of physical arousal. 

“That’s what makes this one so interesting!” Haru had exclaimed, though she seemed to be in the minority. Akira never saw the mangaka write anything for _Weekly DokiDoki!_ ever again.

But he had been inspired, no matter what his personal thoughts on the manga had been. He had gone out immediately, bought a bunch of bananas, dipped the lot into chocolate, and froze it in the freezer (much to Sojiro’s bemused confusion). The second Akechi had walked into Leblanc the day after, Akira grabbed a chocolate banana from the freezer and pressed it into the detective’s hands. 

“I made these but I’m not sure if they’re too sweet, since, you know, I have a crazy sweet tooth and all, so maybe I’m just biased? Anyway, bite it as slowly as possible so you can tell me if I need to chill out with the chocolate, alright?” He had said, smooth as a cucumber, as soon as he confirmed that the stick was safely in Akechi’s bare (bare!) hand. 

Sojiro had snorted, Akira remembers, but that had been because the cafe is perpetually dusty no matter how many times Akira and Sojiro polish and sweep. Morgana had made a gagging noise, but Morgana’s a cat (“Not a cat,” the Morgana in his mind had dutifully piped up) and don’t cats spit up hairballs every once in a while? So, absolutely unrelated to the matter at hand which was that Akechi was going to definitely eat the chocolate banana that Akira so lovingly -

“Thanks, but I’m allergic to bananas,” Akechi had said with a smile. He shoved the banana back into Akira’s hand with a surprisingly firm push. 

Akira hadn’t known what to say, really, so he had stood there, mouth agape, like an idiot, before his mind kicked itself into gear.

“I saw you on a television special the other day talking about bananas from Taiwan. You said they were sweet and delicious.”

Akechi had grimaced before smoothly covering his expression with his usual plastic smile. If Akira hadn’t been so attuned to Akechi’s minute facial expressions, he might’ve missed it.

“Oh, really?” No excuse, not even a ‘oh, I didn’t actually eat the banana’ or ‘sorry that I lied to you just now about my non-existent banana allergy.’ Utterly remorseless. 

“Why won’t you eat my chocolate banana?” Akira had asked. The chocolate was slowly melting off the banana in the heat. Akechi hadn’t even walked completely into Leblanc; the door was still half-open and the cold air from the A/C was leaking out. 

“I just have a bit of a bad feeling,” Akechi had replied. “Why are you so insistent that I eat this?”

“Because I made it.”

“Why don’t you ask your friends to help you? Surely Okumura, with her knowledge and experience in foods, would be more useful than me.”

“You run a food blog.”

“She runs a food company.”

And so their argument had continued, until the chocolate started to drip onto Akira’s hand and dangerously close to his wrist. Sojiro had snapped at Akira to clean up the mess, apologized to Akechi, and offered him a free cup of the house blend. Akechi had said, “Maybe next time, Sakura-san,” before winking (obnoxiously) and leaving. Why did he even make the trek out to Leblanc if Akira was able to scare him away with a perfectly innocent and delicious chocolate banana?

“You’re an idiot,” Sojiro had said, “and make sure you don’t leave any chocolate on the floor or you'll be mopping tonight.”

“Yes, Boss,” Akira had sullenly muttered back as he tossed the chocolate banana onto a plate that Sojiro had set out. And that had been that. A freezer full of chocolate bananas (given to Yusuke, who had eaten the entire plate within seconds) and a week without Akechi (who had avoided Leblanc until he was sure that the chocolate bananas were all disposed of). 

The great thing about Sojiro, in Akira’s opinion, is his quiet understanding. He understands what it's like to be a clumsy teenage boy, what it's like to have a crush on someone out of your league. As soon as he saw the fresh tray of chocolate bananas in the freezer, he knew without any words just what it was that Akira wanted from him.

It was a muggy weekend afternoon when Akechi dropped by Leblanc again, his brow sweaty from the walk between the station and the cafe. He sat down at his usual stool, briefcase on the seat next to him, and requested a house blend.

“Is Akira not around?” He asked.

Akira’s heart leapt into his mouth. He was, in fact, present, hidden near the entrance of the attic, with his head just peeking out around the corner. He had been present all day, lazing about and enduring the desert-like heat of Tokyo summer. Morgana had been snoozing next to him, curled up under the chair in a desperate attempt to escape some of the heat, but now he was crouched next to Akira. Phantom thieves scouting out the Treasure. 

“He’s over at Futaba’s,” Sojiro replied evenly. “He left these, though, if you want one.”

Akira could hear Sojiro open up the freezer and he dared to strain his neck out further. Sojiro was indeed handing Akechi a chocolate banana, and there was no hesitation in Akechi’s acceptance. No forced smile on his effeminately handsome face. 

What’s so different between him and Sojiro anyway? Akechi didn’t seem bothered at all about Sojiro giving him a chocolate banana, when he had shoved the offering back at Akira without even sparing it a second look. Sojiro didn’t even go into detail about the cooking process, or comment on how sweet and rich the chocolate is. 

“Thank you so much,” Akechi exclaimed, sounding much younger than he usually did. “The perfect treat for this weather.”

He stuck it into his mouth a little unceremoniously, but Akira’s Third Eye could see all the little motions he made - his tongue licking underneath the banana to get at the chocolate; his cheeks hollowing as he sucked on the snack like an ice lolly; the saliva coating the dark outer crust of the banana when he pulled his head back a little. Akira swallowed nervously, suddenly feeling like he was intruding on a private moment. Even Sojiro had turned away, polishing a siphon that Akira knew he had polished to perfection minutes earlier. Akira felt like a voyeuristic creep. He understood without a shadow of doubt why the protagonist of the one-shot had broken out into cold sweat and averted his eyes the whole time.

_Haru, I’m living the life of a shoujo manga protagonist, and I’m not having a good time at all._

“Your plan worked, Joker!” Morgana crowed, startling Akira so badly he jumped. “You were right when you said that Akechi would never turn down Boss. As expected of you, Joker!” He was being ludicrously loud, his high voice echoing in the stairwell.

Akira stared at Morgana, unsure of what to say. He looked back down. Sojiro had glanced up, shaking his head about how ‘that idiot’s not feeding the cat properly again.’ Akechi was staring straight into Akira’s eyes, the frozen banana forgotten in his hand, and Akira could swear that he saw a something manifest itself into reality behind the detective. Black and white, with a large flaming sword. 

“So you were home all along, huh?” Akechi smiled. “Well, don’t be a stranger. Let me up, won’t you? I have lots to say about this wonderful snack you’ve prepared for me.”

**Author's Note:**

> I love happy endings and this is a humour fic. No, Akechi didn't go up there and shoot Akira. They just had a stern talk and then made out.


End file.
